My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn’t concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef–figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn’t have the thyme.

Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patients.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn’t fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.

Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn’t up to it.

So then I got a job at a health club, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

I loved my job as a taste-tester at the prune joice factory.  It was an OK job, but you could only work one day, and then you HAD to take three days off!  In retrospect, it was a CRAPPY job.....

I was the Bartender at the Betty Ford Clinic.

I had a job at the fire hydrant factory.  That was a great job, but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.  And all those dogs!

I tried to become a juggler, but I realized I just didn't have the balls for it.

I tried to become an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out people considered me nothing more than an optical Aleutian.

I tried to be a butcher but I backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in my work.

Those is funny jokes......I don't care where you're from.....they're FUNNY!!!!